no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
