did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
