i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
