So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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