I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
