This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
