i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
