i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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