You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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