He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
