I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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