Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
