so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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