if i died would you start the facebook group?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
