Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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