shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
