i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
