There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
