it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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