If that was your dad, he is hot
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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