My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
