So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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