guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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