im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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