You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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