She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
