Yo dont text me then not text me
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
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