I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
