Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
