I think im going to throw up on grandma
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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