this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
17 year olds will be the death of me.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
