yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
