I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
