Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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