I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
fuck your aforementioned shoe
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Just puked most of my soul out..
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