I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
