I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm at about main and main street
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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