lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
