please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
