wakey wakey hands off snakey
never play flip cup with pint glasses
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
