help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
