He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Randomize
