i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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