A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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