So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
