Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
