At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
