The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i think i just lost a toe
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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