New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
