I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
